Day of Silence: So That All May Be Heard

For nearly 30 years, the Day of Silence, observed on the second Friday in April, has served as a way for members of the LGBTQ+ community to draw attention to their historical silencing—and to declare that that silencing is no longer acceptable. Participants refrain from speaking for the day, reflecting the many ways in which the voices of community members go unheard.

The Day of Silence has long played a role in Rivers’ support of the LGBTQ+ community. Last Friday, as participating students dressed in black and stayed silent, a moving and powerful presentation took place at Upper School assembly. (Those who wished to show their support without remaining silent were encouraged to wear blue.) Faculty member Mary Mertsch, who serves as a GSA advisor, introduced the program by acknowledging that many wonder whether the observance is still necessary, given the strides that have been made in the arena of gay rights. Yes, said Mertsch, there has been great progress, and the gains are worth celebrating. But, she continued, “LGBTQ rights are under attack in this country.” Even in Massachusetts, perhaps seen as a safe haven, two bills that curtail LGBTQ rights are on the table. Mertsch added that 484 such bills have been proposed nationally. “It’s not surprising,” she said, “that some still feel silenced.” And the issue resonates beyond the LGBTQ community: “None of us can be free until all of us are free,” said Mertsch.

Weeks earlier, members of the Rivers community had been asked to share their thoughts about what the Day of Silence means. Students involved in the GSA had turned those responses into a video that was shown at the assembly. Students also spoke from the podium, addressing the challenges faced by the LGBTQ+ community.

Faculty member Mallory Rome, who also serves as a GSA advisor, came to the stage to speak about the death of Nex Benedict, a nonbinary high school student in Oklahoma who was bullied and beaten, eventually taking their own life in February. Such tragic events attest to the continued targeting of the LGBTQ+ community, but at Rivers, students have also mobilized to make a positive impact: In March, a Mario Kart tournament and bake sale organized by GSA and including both Middle and Upper School students raised $500 for Outright Action International, an NGO supporting LGBTQ+ civil rights around the world. 

Following Rome’s remarks, faculty members Thomas Marks and tc Hanmer performed the Kacey Musgraves song “Rainbow.” Introducing the tune, Hanmer said that beyond the obvious titular reference, “the lyrics are the message behind the metaphor. To those who are silent, we’d like to lend our voices.”

After the presentation, Andrew Ho '25, one of the GSA leaders, said, "I thought that the morning assembly successfully captured the solemn nature of the occasion. By incorporating multiple student voices into the program, I thought that we made the assembly engaging and interesting for the community. I also thought the song 'Rainbow,' sung by Dr. Marks and Ms. Hamner, was performed beautifully. I especially loved when Ms. Hamner announced that they were singing for everyone who did not have a voice."

He added that he was heartened by the number of students who took the vow of silence. "As a member of the LGBTQ+ community, I felt validated and supported by my peers," said Ho. "I also want to shout out all of the teachers who wore blue, because it means a lot to see the adults in my life standing with silenced LGBTQ+ youth."

The silence at Rivers lasted throughout the school day. And then, as they have for many years, students gathered late in the afternoon on the Parsons Quadrangle for the chance to break the silence with a cathartic group scream—followed, this year, by an ice-cream party.

Afterward, Kam Harris ’24, one of the day’s student organizers, reflected. “I think the Day of Silence went well this year. There was a really good turnout for the breaking of the silence and the ice cream bar afterward,” said Harris, adding, “That being said, I can’t help but feel that I saw more participation with the student body wearing blue and black in years past. I’m hoping that the tradition continues to grow into the future. A lot of positive progress has been made. I also hope that, after the assembly, people will understand why the day continues to be recognized and why it’s important.”
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