Riverside Chat: Five Questions for Krista Sahrbeck

Krista Sahrbeck: I grew up in Cape Elizabeth, Maine, just outside of Portland, and I graduated with a class of around 100 kids, very similar in size to Rivers. I think I lucked out with my parents and my family in general. I’m adopted Korean, and I didn’t really feel I was different than any of my siblings in terms of race and background and looking different. Every neighbor knew who you were. It just felt really easy and safe. 

I originally wanted to be an international environmental lawyer. After attending Bowdoin College for my undergraduate degree, I applied to law school and was wait-listed. I hadn’t experienced much failure before that point, and it made me really think about why I wanted to do what I was pursuing. If you looked at my résumé at that time, it was filled with camps, coaching, counseling, and just being with young people. At that point, I couldn’t ignore the fact that I was drawn to working with teenagers, so I enrolled at Boston College Lynch School of Education.

KS:  For me, it is that I am the advocate of advocates for students, period. In every decision I help make, I’m always considering, “How does this benefit and help students?” and keeping in mind that, when we say “students,” we mean all students. 

As a dean of students, I am a little bit of everything. If you’re only looking at student life through one lens, you’re too closed-minded, because students are doing 8,000 things. This student is the captain, who’s also in the AP class, who has to go home and pick up their younger sibling, make dinner, and then do their schoolwork starting at 8:30 p.m. We have to be able to provide flexibility for that person. But if we don’t have that relationship with that kid and family, how do we ever know that that’s something that is happening? 

At least 80 percent of my job is reacting to things, whether that’s student decisions and behaviors or big school decisions. That makes me ask, “How do we become more proactive?” and “What systems are we working with?” Systems might need to be tweaked so we can be better prepared, or so we can prepare others for things coming down the pipeline that we can predict and anticipate. 

If there are programs or resources we want to provide students to give them a better experience, knowing that they will become better members of a larger community after they leave, that’s kind of my charge. 

Sometimes, my role is just being present. That’s as easy as picking up a paddle and playing ping-pong in the lower Campus Center, or it’s walking through Benson Gym when people are playing knockout. Student life doesn’t always need an agenda. Community is communing, and it’s fighting for those pockets of time.

KS: The counseling and wellness team has been phenomenal, both on a personal level when dealing with difficult situations and from a more institutional curricular standpoint. I think now, even more than when I was a kid, the health and wellness of students is critical, so it’s been great to work with the counseling team on how best to talk to a student from a different perspective, or to prepare for a difficult conversation with parents.

I am also responsible for the student advisors (senior students who serve as mentors for Grade 9 students), who have been a great help. Their ability to care beyond self is really impressive. Whenever I have asked for one or two volunteers to help me, all 10 of them respond immediately and say, “Yep, whatever you need. We’re there.” 

KS: To understand this concept, you almost have to work backward. What does a Rivers graduate look like, and what are the skills that they can demonstrate proficiently before they go off to college? Those skills are the tools. Can they advocate for themselves? Can they think analytically, including critically, not just in a paper about a book that they read, but also in general, about their lives or their sport, or whatever else, to be active citizens in the community? 

As a student goes through their time here, where along the way are we allowing them to fill their 

toolbox? Sometimes it’s through leadership opportunities. Sometimes it’s just doing the right thing when no one is watching. Through all of those lessons, that student walks away with additional tools. And part of my role is creating, developing, and promoting a school environment on the student side where you have trusted adults who can pass along that wisdom in different ways.

Q: You talked a lot about centering the well-being of students. How do you practice that for yourself? 

KS: I have an emotional support dog, Tigger, who has allowed me to make more time for myself. He’s crazy, kind of looks like a Muppet, and he’s blissfully unaware—for him, everything’s happy, he just wants to be loved. 

Also, as I’ve gotten older, I’ve taken more time to be reflective, slow down, and not move too quickly. I have also tried to listen more and talk less. This is my fifteenth year as a dean of students. At Rivers, I am grateful for the support of the school, which has enabled me to take time as I need it. It has allowed me to recognize where others need support—adults and students alike—and provide that, too.