Sages & Seekers: Forming Intergenerational Friendships

Rivers’ involvement with the program goes back to 2009 and has become a signature unit within the Grade 10 English curriculum. Running for seven weeks in the spring, Sages and Seekers are paired based on brief bios—a shared love of cars or a personal connection to the military might be the cause for a pairing, but the bulk of the connection occurs in the intimate conversations that follow. The experience culminates in the penultimate week of the program, when each Seeker honors their Sage with a tribute speech summarizing the Sage’s life experiences and words of wisdom. 

The first visits include icebreaker questions, easing into the unfamiliarity of getting to know each other. But inevitably, both parties lean in, with Sages retelling lessons and stories from their past and sharing the joys and challenges they have faced. Teachers are present for guidance and structure, but they take a step back during the visits to let the conversations happen organically. 

English faculty member Meghan Brown, who first participated in the Sages & Seekers program several years ago, reflected on her class’ experience this spring. “The energy of having students and Sages in the room together was so delightful; I loved hearing the bustle of their voices as they all talked together!” she said. “The in-person connection is truly special. It’s so rare that students—or, really, people of any age—have an opportunity to sit and have a one-on-one conversation with someone for over an hour, with only a paper notebook between them.”

Brown added, “I personally hope that students will gain an appreciation for the skill of listening and for how meaningful it is to lend an ear to someone and honor their experiences. The communication skills this program builds—making eye contact, asking follow-up questions, listening actively—are invaluable, not only in students’ academic life but in their interactions outside of and beyond Rivers.”

Lucas Malo, director of community engagement, says the program provides an important outlet in furthering connections between Rivers and the wider community. “Now, when these Sages drive by the school, they know where Rivers is and they know what happens here.”

The undertaking is no small thing, with upwards of 90 guests visiting campus each week while the program is in session. 

Jen Fonte P’26, ’27, ’30 has led the hospitality welcoming the Sages to campus for a few years. While the program takes place in the spring, the planning begins as early as September and October to recruit Sages. During the weeks of the program, Fonte and a team of volunteers welcome the Sages with name tags and light refreshments to make them feel at home on the Rivers campus. In her interactions with the Sages, Fonte has also gotten to know them and their stories. 

“What’s so amazing to me is how accomplished these people are,” said Fonte. “Some have been to war, are activists, are homemakers, have had three marriages, have lost children,” she commented, emphasizing that there is no one profile or story that fits all participants.

The personal stories and individual journeys support the curricular goal of students understanding and exploring worlds that may initially seem vastly different from their own. Said Brown, “I think it is so meaningful for students to understand the moments that felt significant in the lives of people of other ages. Events that they might only learn about in history are very real parts of these individuals’ lives. We had a Sage who went to college for computer science and was told by a professor that she should stop thinking about her career and start thinking about getting married and starting a family; another Sage couldn’t marry her longtime love because gay marriage wasn’t legalized; a third marched for racial justice in Selma. These are incredibly impactful stories and so meaningful as we work to help our students practice empathy and engage across difference in their own lives.” 

Grade 10 English teacher Maddy Smith hopes sophomore students will learn that there is more than one path to take in life. “I hope students appreciate forming relationships with adults who aren’t teachers or family members,” she added. “It can be really helpful for a teenager to hear a bunch of different ways to live a life. Some stories involved going back to college in middle age, some involved huge career shifts, dramatic family lives, getting married young, old, or not at all. I hope that Sages & Seekers affirms a myriad of life paths for our impressionable sophomores.” 

On the day of the speeches, the students gathered nervously with their write-ups in hand. As each student read their tribute, their Sage sat in the “hot seat” in front of the audience, listening to bits of their life shared aloud. It was often emotional for participants; many Sages and Seekers exchanged hugs and fond words afterward. One Sage responded after their Seeker’s speech, saying, “I learned more from you than I think that I taught you.”

Brown repeated another Sage’s reflection, saying, “One of my Sages said it best: He shared that he would give anything to go back and be able to have conversations like this with his own parents and grandparents, and he urged students to make time to ask their loved ones about their life stories.”

Sages & Seekers successfully brings together people whose circles perhaps wouldn’t intersect in other circumstances, offering them a window into each other’s lives. “We all have something to connect with another human about,” said Malo, “but unless you make the space for that conversation to happen, you may never know.”

[For a student perspective on Sages & Seekers, check out the article by Noelle Lee ’26 on page 7 of the latest edition of The Rivers Edge, the student-run newspaper.]